How can I NOT purchase a product (even at $24/4oz.) that uses the word 'lubricious' in its description?

Elite cyclist Dave Zubriskie's dznutz chamois cream is generally pretty well regarded, from everything I have heard and read, though not cheap. I am currently pretty happy with the Chamois Butt'r that I use, but will try just about anything at least once.

Mostly I am sold on the description, though. I am a marketer's dream. If a product's description makes me laugh I am bound to try it (though Pearl Izumi's moderately offensive running shoe ads haven't turned me off to their products, either--in the end performance speaks louder than words).

Here is the copy from the dznuts bliss page:
Ladies you have spoken and dznuts has answered. This elegant pro grade chamois cream for women provides the comfort and lubricious saddle glide required for top level training and racing. It is scientifically formulated for women's sensitive skin. (4oz. tube)

anti-bacterial: pre/probiotics complex reduces the chance of infection and encourages beneficial skin flora growth.

anti-inflamatory: decreases itching, prickling and discomfort.

wound-healing: strengthens natural biological skin defenses and promotes healing in previously damaged skin.

anti-chaffing [sic]: moisture absorbing polymers isolate excess moisture, protecting delicate skin against the chamois.

no tingling: same pro-level protection as dznuts pro chamois cream,without the tingling sensation.

Note: chaffing≠chafing. Chaffing would relate to wheat...or something. Chafing is what happens to my butt in the presence of ill-placed seams and repetitive motion.

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